Kiwi is me!

Hi All,

Kinda long din update le.. Haha.. Not really bcos nothing to blog, it juz  dat sometimes too much emotion got over me and i gradually lose the way to communicate my prob. Sounds chim? Haha.. Though some may be always listening to my grumbles, but all this are superficial incidents dat i can juz grumble n forget. Mayb after all this yrs i hav grown stronger n believe in solving probs by myself. Mayb i’m juz acting like a gemini.

Speaking of superficial, dat day i was chatting with parrot n we tok abt superficial fren. Nt dat kinda hypocrite, its referring to frens who hardly reveal their real self to others. Hav anyone of u ever encounter b4 after chatting with certain fren for abt 1hr n realise u still dono her well. ITs juz lk e 1 whole hr its really on hala’ing n nt chattin lk a fren. Honestly, a fren once commented dat she feel this way abt me. I was kinda shock, i still rmb it was after watching the movie "click", n she told me she feels lk sometimes i’m juz lk e male lead, on auto pilot mode. Sometimes she couldnt feel e real me bcos i was juz tryin to be wat other ppl expect.  It was den i realise ya, i really hav prob being myself. I dono wat i really wan in life, i cant speak wats really on my mind, i don even noe who i am. I guess dats i’m havin prob in communicating now. If anyone feels e same way please tell me too..

ANyway i juz hav a dinner at my primary sch.. Its actually quite fine until i saw my wushu teacher. Dono y i always feel guilty wen i c her. She is one of the lady i really respect alot. Hhmmm, but abt 2 yrs ago i choose to stop lessons without a proper notification. Well, all this yrs i know dat i’m still interested in wushu. Evrtime i saw her students performing at any occassions, i always hope dat 1 day i can go up to her & asked if i can join again. Its a kinda passion i hardly hav for anything. But i noe evrth is too late le..

REcalling back y did i stop, if its abt a few months ago, i will definately blame tonkichi. Cos i always tot i gv up alot for it. I gv up my guitar lessons & wushu lessons. I gt complain by frens who keep grumbling i’m always busy, n my proj teammates has even requested me to stop workin for once to rush the proj. & nt to forget my dad who hav been nagging me for whole 3 yrs. For this i really muz thank Yixin for pointing out its actually nt tonkichi fault. Its actually my prob in choosing. I din realise all along i do hav e chance to make a choice. If i could hav insist on nt workin on sat nite & sun morning depsite of pleaing, mayb i wouldnt hav so much regret. If i could hav manage my time better, my fren, family & team mates wouldnt hav any complaints toward me too. Honestly after being enlighten of this fact, i felt more relived. Cos constanly grumbling on someth is juz lk carrying a big burden, tiring. If i din c this fact, i might be stil continueing making wrong choices, n den blames others without rectifying the whole mistakes. History will still repeats. Dats y chinese always say muz remove the roots of the mistakes. I agree!!

Wow, din realise i gt 1 whole page of long winded tots le. Haha.. I’ve always envy ppl who can express their tots in less den 10 sentence. I can nv do it bcos i’m a natural born auntie. Super Lor so.. Oops..

Shall end it here.. Nitez..